Category: Family

My Mother’s Love

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Blanca pegYesterday was my mother’s birthday and I am blessed to have her for 80 yrs thus far. As my family was gathered around the table singing happy birthday I was transported back to my younger years. I started thinking of the thousand of ways she helped me become the woman I am today. You see while many can’t stand their mothers I actually adore mine. I am not claiming it is a perfect relationship, but it is mine and it is as perfect as it can be for me.

Growing up a very timid child I didn’t quite like going to school. Being intelligent and shy were not the recipe for having best friends. I withstood bullying at the hands of my peers and was ecstatic when the clock would strike three. I would leave school and run into my  mother’s arms. It was my safety net.  In her arms I could be smart, awkward, uni-browed, and shy. It didn’t quite matter that boys thought I was ugly or girls thought I was boring. My mother always said to me that I was beautiful and that she loved me not a little but a whole lot. I have no idea how being a mother of five she could make me feel so important as if I were her only child. I see now I have always been blessed. My mother until this day has the greatest capacity to love.

Growing up there were strangers to me that moved into our home. It annoyed me that we had these other people in our house sharing our utensils but then I grew to love them too. Now I understand that she was helping these people to get back on their feet. Sometimes she charged them a few dollars but other times she just let them live with us for free.  Who does that except a person with a big heart? My mother has always been very giving of her time and mostly of her love.

During my first months post pregnancy she moved in with me to help me out. She took care of my crying baby so I could sleep and my husband go to work. She made food for my daughter which she enjoyed unlike mine which she spit up.

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When I got divorced my daughter moved in with her so I could finish my residency. When I was studying for the medical license she went on a trip to Florida and took my daughter with her so I could study freely. I am a doctor today and she still helps me out. She cooks for me and still does my laundry for me sometimes. I am vegan and even yesterday on her own birthday she made rice pudding vegan style. My mother loves me and she loves all five us and all her grandchildren. She loves each one of us to the greatest power. She loves each of her friends this way too. I am very lucky I know I am.

I am very grateful to have a mom like I do which is why my goal in life is to love more and to be grateful even more. Perhaps it is time to love your mother. Look at what she does right and focus on that. If she does nothing right then forgive her and walk away but don’t let bitterness grow in your heart. When you become a parent then be different. Don’t pass on what was done wrong onto your children because otherwise, it just becomes like an aggressive cancer and spreads everywhere. Love her and above all love yourself. Don’t start tomorrow. Start today because tomorrow is not promised.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Grateful always.
Guady G.

The Puzzle Part 2

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What the……..!

It turned out he wasn’t lying to me. He was a kidder but he felt bad because a few minutes later I was crying. Why did I throw the pieces everywhere when I got upset? Perhaps my mom had swept it up but she said no. Crap crap and crap! My hard work and it was missing a damn piece! I couldn’t put it up now! How could I? My relatives would notice and they would make fun of me. I didn’t want that.

Maybe I could take a marker and color it in. Perhaps no one would notice. I would and that would make me a fake. I had to search for that missing piece. I looked under the sofa and no luck. Cabinet nope too. I think it went into the black hole. Or another dimension? The void? No, the devil took it!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Where the efffin f was it? Stolen? Lost? Broken somewhere? Right before me but invisible to my eyes and others too. I was frustrated once again and summer was almost over.

Entering my fall years I came to the realization that I had that piece all along. It was me. I was the missing piece that was needed to complete this complex puzzle that I call my life. God had given me this gift and I finally understood its value. It is a precious gift. It is fun, difficult, frustrating but it is mine and I need to take care of it. I need his guidance so I surrender myself to his daily blessings and I receive happiness. The Universe loves me back for I love it like the very skin that covers me. Trust. Forgive. Love. Grow and glow for you are in the know.

Signing off
Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

 

The Puzzle Part 1

GuadyG1 Comment
6F466682-DB46-4412-8627-4198DAD48617
What the……..!

I was given a gift by someone who loves me dearly many years ago. It was a puzzle. The image on the box was of a beautiful scenery. There was a mountain in the background with the brightest of hues depicting trees, boulders and vast terrain. The backdrop was a sky so blue with a water body below it. I was in awe at how gorgeous it all was. I remember asking myself if I could piece it all together. It wasn’t the world’s largest puzzle but it had pieces in the thousands. I think 2,000 or was it 1,000?

I recall putting all the pieces on the kitchen table because I was determined to complete it all in one day. What was I thinking? It was fun as I placed all the pieces of the border together. I could do it! I was doing it! I felt so awesome even though it was actually easy to do.

Then it was time to start the middle of it. I was determined as I dug for more pieces. Oh shit there were so many pieces! I kept telling myself “ You got this!” It was coming along for I could see the outline of the mountaintop. Okay so maybe I was squinting my eyes as I looked.

I had started at 6 am and then it was 9 am. It was breakfast time on a Saturday and my mom wanted the table to serve breakfast. Ah shit why didn’t I foresee this. I was just so into that puzzle. How could I move it? I got upset that my family was so large and the entire table was needed. There were 7 of us. Dang it! Then my mom said “Muévete es hora de comer! Vete ya y cambiate de pijama.” In English means-Move it! It’s time to eat and go change your pajamas already!” Arghh I was so annoyed.

My brother then came in and said to me that he was going to push it onto the floor. “Dare you!” I shouted back. He then actually got a cardboard from his old science project and slid it below the puzzle border. He helped me move it onto the floor. This was my daily routine and I was happy it was summer so no school. We were too many kids in the family so no day camp either. It was just me and my puzzle for the summer.

I was faithful doing the puzzle until all of a sudden the pieces started looking all the same to me. There were too many hues of green, yellow and blue. I stopped doing it and every time I closed my eyes to sleep it was that puzzle I kept seeing. I was so sick of that puzzle. I kept forgetting to move it too so my mom was constantly yelling to get it off the table.

I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I started resenting that I even started it. Stupid stupid puzzle! Why did I think I could do it? I felt so dumb. I got so frustrated with it so I tore it all apart. It had taken me at least 3 weeks to complete what was before me but I didn’t care. I wanted it gone! Pieces went flying everywhere. The table got some. The floor had some and even a few landed on my baby brother’s head as he passed me by. My mother then walked in and told me to pick up all the pieces and to also practice patience. She said to put it away and to try it in another week or two. I said I would so I did.

Deep down I felt like a loser because I had given up. I hated that puzzle but at the same time I missed it. It had given my day purpose. It made me feel smart to even own that puzzle. 7 days went by and it did help me relax. I was then ready to tackle it again. I would do it by sections.

I carefully separated all the pieces with similar colors. I was organized and I could see it. It wouldn’t be long before I had enough pieces together to actually appreciate the scenery coming along. Yes I could see the mountain and the water body. Yes, yes I was invincible. I was the coolest 9 yr old on my block! Heck in the world! I was happy as I could make out the beautiful sky with all it’s shades of blue. Yeah me yeah me. My Dad hears the commotion and said “Be quiet! It’s super late. Why are you up?” I exclaimed back “I did the puzzle! I did it!” I had finished it so off to bed I went at 1 am. I was going to put glue over it in the morning. I would hang it up. I decided I would keep it till forever.

Next morning my brother tells me “Hey the puzzle is missing a piece.” “No stop lying!” I yelled at him. “I’m serious Guany” he yells back at me. “Stop lying! You took it out. So give it back!” I screamed with my voice about to break into a cry. “Give it back! I’m not playing! Please just give it back!”

INTERESTED IN KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT LAST PIECE? DID MY BROTHER TAKE IT? DID I FIND IT? STAY TUNED. PUZZLE PART 2 TO BE POSTED ON WEDS 4/25
7 PM.

Signing off
Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

Did you watch The Greatest Showman?

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I commence by admitting that when I first saw the preview for this movie back in November 2017, I wasn’t too enthused about it. That all changed after my daughter called me two days ago. She had watched it and advised I should do the same. She said it had made her cry. Now, those who know me know I like emotional threaded movies, cartoons, and YouTube videos. I am an avid fan of good old catharsis.

I am not going to speak of the awesome choreography, stellar acting, astonishing acrobatics, vibrant colorful wardrobes or the magnificent harmonious singing voices for all that goes without saying. Zendaya is just adorable. Zac Efron has blossomed into such a wonderful man. Heck, Wolverine can sing to me any day! Sorry, I had to Mr.Hugh Jackman.

This movie received mixed reviews but I think it deserves a category of its own. It is a film of enlightenment and of grace. It has a multitude of life lessons within it. Each lesson is well manifested by its talented cast. If you carefully watch it then you will feel what I felt at the end of it–pure joy. If you haven’t watched it yet, please do. I give it an A ++.

It reminds us of how as children we believe anything and everything is possible. Our imagination with its vast creativity doesn’t hinder us from growth. We dream and take action to make it become our reality. As children we are invincible. As children we always believe and don’t ever question what love is. We just love. As adults we become afraid to love due to what other’s might think about who we love or why we love them. What happens to us when we age?

It teaches us to not forget those that helped us form our foundation as we rise to stardom in our work life. Our jobs may explode to unknown blissful horizons but if we don’t take notice then we stand to lose it all. Being successful requires dedication and time but should never marginalize your family. It is easier to rebuild a burned down warehouse than it is to mend a broken tattered heart.

This musical film empowers all those whom have ever been bullied. It is for all those that have been shamed into not loving themselves. In the film those things were depicted in an overt manner. We see a bearded lady, a giant and a morbidly obese man but in real life there are also those that feel shame but are perfect in our eyes. Some wounds lie deeper than the eyes can see.

This film is for all who were abused either physically, sexually or mentally. It is for any wounded brave soul. The lyrics of This is Me are beyond powerful. Mr. Benj Pasek and Mr. Justin Paul I salute you for your talent. This is a song of liberation! It is a song of self-acceptance and self-love. Thank you. Check out Keala Settle’s audition tape on YouTube and you will fall in love with her. https://youtu.be/XLFEvHWD_NE

This 1.46 hrs of delight embodies the meaning of friendship and faith. Their strengths can help pull us out of the deepest of ruts. Zac Efron’s role states I may have lost a lot but have gained so much more. This made me choke and then cry. What are worldly possessions if we don’t feel we belong anywhere? He might have degraded his social status by working in a circus but he upgraded his soul’s happiness status. Isn’t this what should actually matter? We are worth so much more than the numbers on our W2 form! We can’t forget this!

Finally this American musical drama film by Michael Gracey written by Jenny Bicks and Bill Condon is a definite must see. It is a film for the family to watch together. A film for couples. It is a must see in schools to open discussion about bullying and the ill effects of it. It a film for me and a film for you. May you all have a blessed day.

Signing off
Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

 

Singer

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Dear beautiful Singer

I woke up this morning thinking about you. You seem so exhausted. You are so worn out.  I know it’s because you’ve worked countless years. It finally has caught up with you.

You never stopped performing your craft. You were busy at it even throughout the weary nights. You sang with pride while others lay in slumber. You were loud and although we wanted to drown you out with pillows over our heads you kept on making your sound. You loved to sing.

You never used exhaustion as an excuse to perform your duty as a singer. So today I will pay you homage. You helped not only me but countless others.

Because of you 5 of us were able to go to catholic school. It was your nonstop dedication that provided me with my prom dress and all my semi-formal dresses in college. You clothed me. You were a relentless force for you served many purposes.

You held my food but mostly my mother’s. You let us sit on your lap so often without ever complaining. We did our homework with you and you let us use your ruler— all 36 inches of it. You never faltered.

Day in and day out you were pressed and you sang. Sometimes you sang in unison but mostly you sang alone. Your song wasn’t ever appreciated for it hurt our ears and gave us headaches. You never quit working and singing. You had a mission to provide for my family and you did it well.

My sweet singer you aren’t heard that much anymore for you are too old and too rusty. Your pedals get stuck and you are dusty. Very rarely I hear you singing but now I appreciate you. I miss your sound for it was the sound of my youth. Thank you Singer thank you.

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Shout out goes to my mother, señora Gladys, Comadre Isabel and all those that used the Singer machine to provide for their families. They never stopped working because they loved us so much. They hurt their backs and their knees so we wouldn’t when we got older. Their love for us was unwavering and The SINGER  kept singing it’s song.

Thank you Singer Model AS-4002

Signing off
Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn