Fluidity

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday and I am blessed to have her for 80 yrs thus far. As my family was gathered around the table singing happy birthday I was transported back to my younger years. I started thinking of the thousand of ways she helped me become the woman I am today. You see while many can’t stand their mothers I actually adore mine. I am not claiming it is a perfect relationship, but it is mine and it is as perfect as it can be for me.

Growing up a very timid child I didn’t quite like going to school. Being intelligent and shy were not the recipe for having best friends. I withstood bullying at the hands of my peers and was ecstatic when the clock would strike three. I would leave school and run into my  mother’s arms. It was my safety net.  In her arms I could be smart, awkward, uni-browed, and shy. It didn’t quite matter that boys thought I was ugly or girls thought I was boring. My mother always said to me that I was beautiful and that she loved me not a little but a whole lot. I have no idea how being a mother of five she could make me feel so important as if I were her only child. I see now I have always been blessed. My mother until this day has the greatest capacity to love.

Growing up there were strangers to me that moved into our home. It annoyed me that we had these other people in our house sharing our utensils but then I grew to love them too. Now I understand that she was helping these people to get back on their feet. Sometimes she charged them a few dollars but other times she just let them live with us for free.  Who does that except a person with a big heart? My mother has always been very giving of her time and mostly of her love.

During my first months post pregnancy she moved in with me to help me out. She took care of my crying baby so I could sleep and my husband go to work. She made food for my daughter which she enjoyed unlike mine which she spit up.

When I got divorced my daughter moved in with her so I could finish my residency. When I was studying for the medical license she went on a trip to Florida and took my daughter with her so I could study freely. I am a doctor today and she still helps me out. She cooks for me and still does my laundry for me sometimes. I am vegan and even yesterday on her own birthday she made rice pudding vegan style. My mother loves me and she loves all five us and all her grandchildren. She loves each one of us to the greatest power. She loves each of her friends this way too. I am very lucky I know I am.

I am very grateful to have a mom like I do which is why my goal in life is to love more and to be grateful even more. Perhaps it is time to love your mother. Look at what she does right and focus on that. If she does nothing right then forgive her and walk away but don’t let bitterness grow in your heart. When you become a parent then be different. Don’t pass on what was done wrong onto your children because otherwise, it just becomes like an aggressive cancer and spreads everywhere. Love her and above all love yourself. Don’t start tomorrow. Start today because tomorrow is not promised.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Grateful always.
Guady G.