Stay or Go?

silhouette photo of person holding door knob
Photo by George Becker on Pexels.com

Standing at the door not knowing whether to stay or go.  I loved you once but now I just don’t know.  Sometimes I want to walk out but I stop and think of all we’ve been through. The laughter echoes while tears fall upon my face.  I can’t shake the pain. Now there’s only disdain.

Should I assuage myself by pretending it never occurred?  Could I remain at bay when your gusts of inconsistencies bludgeoned my hull and my rudders?  I’m so lost I shudder.

Yet here I stand with each foot juxtaposed before the door.  I long for peace and happiness that comes from being apart.  I’m frightened to go and frightened to stay.  Is it possible any other way? Is it?

When I’m in a slumber I dream of running outside and bursting into laughter. That would bring me great joy.  Do I dare do it? Is this a game? Am I the toy? What to employ?

I realize I must make a choice to leave or stay.   This causes such dismay!  I have been yelling for you to go but it is I that must decide. The more I knew you the less I knew myself!  My soul has left and I must follow.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G

I am happy to state that my divorce was amicable. I love his new wife and son. My ex-mother-in-law never stopped loving me. We always kept in contact and despite having advanced Alzheimers she would sometimes share lucid moments with me. She recently passed on and I miss her. My ex-father in law always would call to check on me. He was such a funny guy and he passed on various years before his wife. I will write a blog just about them in the future.

Key message is be happy.

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