My Song Bird

photography of small blue and brown bird
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As I sat by my window I heard bird chirping coming from outside.   I looked out the window and saw a bird fly by.  I extended my right hand and the bird flew to me. It then sang the most beautiful of songs.

I wondered why the beautiful bird sang alone. As I held the small bird in my hands I noticed it was wounded. Poor little bird was bleeding on the area below its right wing. My heart raced and I became sad. For some reason I really cared for the bird.

The bird then took flight but faithfully returned everyday and sang its melody to me. I can’t begin to tell you the elation I felt.  I was invisible in the world and it all changed the moment the bird came to me.  I was no longer invisible!  I was special! I was loved!

But one day the bird didn’t come. I missed it so much. Where did it go? What had I done wrong? As I wondered, a thought came to mind. His wound had healed and now it did sing among the other birds. I extended my arm out the window praying it would come to me like before but the bird just flew right by. I felt pain in my chest, and put my head down and I cried.

photo of a person leaning on wooden window
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Three days later I heard chirping coming from outside. I ran to the window and saw that my beautiful bird chirped the loudest among the others. The melody was directed towards me and I was ecstatic.  With utmost excitement I extended my right hand but once again the bird didn’t fly to me.  I was sad but I smiled because at that moment I realized how much he loved me too.

Sincerely
Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

This entry is placed in dedication to Anaya Ruiz age 11 for requesting something she could read.  This story is about love and purity. Sometimes the love is there but we can’t be with those we love.  Anyone have a story to share? I love to write but I also love to read.

Stay or Go?

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Standing at the door not knowing whether to stay or go.  I loved you once but now I just don’t know.  Sometimes I want to walk out but I stop and think of all we’ve been through. The laughter echoes while tears fall upon my face.  I can’t shake the pain. Now there’s only disdain.

Should I assuage myself by pretending it never occurred?  Could I remain at bay when your gusts of inconsistencies bludgeoned my hull and my rudders?  I’m so lost I shudder.

Yet here I stand with each foot juxtaposed before the door.  I long for peace and happiness that comes from being apart.  I’m frightened to go and frightened to stay.  Is it possible any other way? Is it?

When I’m in a slumber I dream of running outside and bursting into laughter. That would bring me great joy.  Do I dare do it? Is this a game? Am I the toy? What to employ?

I realize I must make a choice to leave or stay.   This causes such dismay!  I have been yelling for you to go but it is I that must decide. The more I knew you the less I knew myself!  My soul has left and I must follow.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G

I am happy to state that my divorce was amicable. I love his new wife and son. My ex-mother-in-law never stopped loving me. We always kept in contact and despite having advanced Alzheimers she would sometimes share lucid moments with me. She recently passed on and I miss her. My ex-father in law always would call to check on me. He was such a funny guy and he passed on various years before his wife. I will write a blog just about them in the future.

Key message is be happy.

All In My Head

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I haven’t been the same, since you uttered my name and now I’m going insane.  It was those words that you said.

I love you I surely do but now you left and I’m without a clue. What will I do?
Was it all in my head?

You never loved me! It was a fantasy!  Now there are tears being shed. Was it all in my head?

I still miss your lips kissing me so…
And your arms caressing me till I yelled let me go…

The highlight of my day was being with you every night.
And then you left and it wasn’t right! I cry. Was it all in my head?

Why dd you always stay through the night? Why did you always hold me so tight? Why did your eyes tell mine that you weren’t going anywhere and that we had a life to share?

I shout out that my witness is my bed but now there are just tears to be shed cause I know it was all in my head.

I actually wrote this to be lyrics for a song. What do you think? How many of us meet others that seem to just get us? We make instant bonds with them only to wake up one day and realize they have left us. I used to think there was something wrong with me but today I know that when others leave it might just mean they don’t feel worthy of the love I give them.

I know my positive attributes and what I need to work on. Sadly others just walk in a semi-comatose state, barely feeling anything and only going through motions and the minute they make a true connection they sever ties to it. They rather lose the connection early on to avoid losing the connection later on. They are lonely and look to connect but fear it at the same time. Ever wonder why some people leave their spouses when their spouses get a serious illness like cancer? Makes you think. Right? I don’t regret loving others even if at times it wasn’t returned. To quote Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850— It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Do you agree? Why or why not?

Sincerely,

Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

Break Ups

adult alone anxious black and white
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They make us more poetic.  Don’t they?  I will share with you what I wrote after one of my breakups.  It lasted two years and ended in the year 2000.  I don’t regret that relationship because it was awesome while it lasted.  It helped me grow as a woman, as a doctor and as an individual.

I’ll always remember that windy day in November when you said you’ll love me forever.  Said you’ll leave me never.

Yet, here it is now May and I’m alone cause you went away.  What did those words actually mean?  I was fooled because they were so serene.

I miss you so much.  I long for your touch. The way you used to kiss my lips…………The way you pressed yourself against my hips……….

Every night was filled with so much passion. Your love never felt rationed. You used to hold me ever so tightly in embrace. Your memory I can’t seem to erase. You are deeply engraved in the confines of my heart.  Why did you choose to depart?

Was our love not real?  All my love, did you not feel?  I don’t care if you see me cry!  Damn you for saying goodbye!  

If you are going through a break up at this moment don’t let anger and sadness take over your heart and soul.  Use the pain to write awesome short stories and poetry.  You will be amazed with your own written words and it is also therapeutic. Go ahead and give it a try.  Let me know how it goes.  Namaste.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Signing off
Guady G