Being an essential worker


Good morning my friends. This year has been tough with the pandemic and being an essential worker. In mid March I was on call and it was so difficult video chatting with patients that were sick and I had to refer them to the emergency room. Painfully I knew some of them would not make it.

It’s been so busy I didn’t process it. I got sick myself with Covid like symptoms but it turned out to be the flu. It sucked that last week of March. Then soon afterwards my beautiful coworker was found in a praying position on the floor in the morning in her home. She had a heart attack and tried to get to the phone and fell. Her grandson is my patient and he was devastated. Once again I had to stay strong.

My friend called me around the same time to tell me both her parents died of Covid one week apart. I couldn’t even go hug her and that was heart breaking. They were only in their late 50s. I’m 52 years old,

I then get a phone call from my friend that one of our mutual friends was in the hospital battling for his life. A severe heart attack at age 42. He died just few days shy of his birthday. He was a healthy beautiful person. He had just had a full cardiac check up too. What the heck? I almost cried but I couldn’t because as an essential worker and a parent you have to be strong for others.

I reached out to my friend for comfort to find out my Physician Assistant from my prior job had died and he was only 32. I just continued feeling crappy and so irritable.

In August my mom was hospitalized and required major heart surgery. She had hallucinations due to side effects of the anesthesia and the morphine given. My heart couldn’t take seeing my strong mom cry like a baby. I had to stay strong, I’m the only medical doctor in the family. I’m happy to state she is now better and almost at her baseline.

When I finally go back to work and check my labs I find out that the grandson of my deceased co-worker has to be sent to the emergency room. At age 26 he was diagnosed with cancer. His girlfriend is my patient and I fought back crying to provide her with comfort and strength.

I found myself burned out, irritable and so unenthusiastic. Could I possibly take anymore? I watched sad movies but no tears. I chopped onions and nothing.

I then got into a tiff with my 23 yr old daughter and I just cried and cried. I broke and I finally feel better. I decided to start a You-tube channel to motivate others. It made me realize that in motivating others I uplifted yourself. Here’s the link. Care to join me? Let me know what you think

With all my love Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

Oh, so yum!

My, my you look so scrumptious
So delicious I want to take a bite of you

But tell me, are you sweet or tart?

Hmm, I think I rather have a taste more than take your word for it.

Yes, of course I’m going to savor you, while I devour you.

Come! Don’t roll away from me
Come in my mouth where you belong!

I’m talking about an apple. What were you thinking about? Hmm? I send you warm hugs from Brooklyn.

Guady G

Very important message

Hi thank you for stopping by
I’m glad you didn’t just scroll by

Sometimes not a soul likes what I post
I have a blog but can’t even boast

Few followers and barely any comments
Should I carry on with only these laments?

I mustn’t forget why I started to write
It makes my soul take flight

A letter, a word and a punctuation
Makes me swell with exaltation!

Why do you write?
To forget because you regret?
To remember her warmth like ember?
To make cash flow so everyone believes you are in the know?

Many reasons to keep going.
So just enjoy the process and the blog will keep growing.

To not write just isn’t right.

Thank you Guady G

That integral moment when. . .

when you’re sure you have found the special one.

You blink your eyes and he’s gone.

He did utter catch you later but perhaps I should have asked “when?” Next week? Next year? Perhaps he meant another lifetime.

How could a union that felt so real be nothing more than a ruse? He’s gone and I’m left confused

Without any explanation, without any hesitation, he left. Not right!

It must have been a dream..
That darn moment!

Love always
Guady G