Mind Gone

woman s index finger on her lips
Photo by Mochammad Algi on Pexels.com

I lay here numb staring at the ceiling thinking about this f-upped year! I don’t know if I’m happy or sad or anything anymore! I want someone to blame for the sh….t but what would that make me?  A lame victim?   A powerless mofo who can’t even flip a switch on?  Yes. I had a choice. Yes. I could have taken the stairs instead of the elevators. But I was lazy! So lazy I told you to do it and it cost you your life. But you aren’t gone cause you are still very much here. You are in my head and so very much in my field of vision. I hate you every time I look in the mirror!  You said some hurtful things to me! You used people I loved. Them and yourself, yourself, yourself!  Nobody knows all about you cause you are dark and wretched. You are someone I desire so much because I can’t attain you!  Who are you but the ideas that were outlined for you since you were born?  You wanted to run and they told you to walk.  You wanted to laugh and they said be quiet!  Shhh!  So many shhhhhhhhs! Now you don’t even know which thoughts are yours or theirs!  Have you gone insane? Have I?  Is this all part of a good read?  Fantasy?  Who decides? Real? Fake? I’ll never tell.

Well, it’s now the end of the year.  Is it time to dwell on all the crap of 2019?  Time to fantasize about 2020?   It’s your choice!  It is plenty.  Tell all those voices in your head to shut the hell up and yes it’s all you. Breathe, Relax and just take one day at a time! Stop ranting! No more chit chatter.  The crappy past is over and it doesn’t matter.  You are powerful and always have a choice. Making no choice is also a choice. I wish you all Happy writing and Happy New Year.

Let’s see what great things like ahead for all of us. I love you all. I send you hugs from Brooklyn.  You are powerful and you will always matter. Loved ones are never truly gone for they watch over us. 2020 is a new beginning. Don’t make it your end. You have the power and the strength to climb all those stairs. You don’t need crutches or elevators. You can do it. Just believe and trust in yourself and in the universe.

With Love
Guady G

Shattered but not Discarded!

As a child I was carefree.
As a teen I was wild but still me.

In my twenties I lost my way.
It’s the truth. I have no words to say!

Then my thirties came and went.
What a waste of breathing.! A life badly spent!

I was broken and quite shattered.
I didn’t give a shit cause nothing mattered.

Who would love a shadow of who I once was?
Who would be okay with my ugly past?

Then came you into my life.
You said you saw me as your wife.

You saw past my bruises and my old needle marks.
You just loved me with all of your heart.

With you I didn’t feel shattered anymore!
Your love caressed me at my core.

You didn’t pimp me like others before.
You saw in me what I no longer saw.

I was beautiful and I was whole!
No longer broken despite the falls.

Your love came and set me free.
Thank you, thank you for loving me.

Story inspired by a patient’s story. Have a grand day.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G

Into the darkness

Who am I but a shadow of who I used to me. Can’t find the strength to get off this bed.

Those vivid memories still paining me. I wonder if I should be dead instead.

The darkness seems safer to me. Would anyone really miss me if I were dead?

Then an angel came to talk to me. He said you matter so choose the light instead.

Can’t believe I had forgotten that I was blessed. Today I choose the light and I know, I know I’ll be alright.

Depression is real. When it happens you can’t see pass the pain you feel. You forget your blessings and sometimes a reminder is what you need. A friend, a therapist, love and understanding. Suicide need not be the end result. Ask for help. I love you all. You matter. Never forget.

Guady G

Till Death Do Us Part

In the silence
A sound
Your voice

Calling out to me

You love me
You want me

With You

But I can’t
For I still
Want this life!

Have a fantastic Friday my beautiful people.
Hugs from Brooklyn

Guady G

I’m here. Where are you?

My sound
I yell, I scream and I shout
Yet I am not found
They don’t see I’m around
I’m invincible to all
I have no sound. I have no call.
I am nothing. I got lost.
All of me at what cost.
My sound not heard!
No sound is heard.
But I’m here
Even if you wish I disappear

Sorry I haven’t written in so long. Just want to say I love you all. We may not know one another but we are connected through our words. Sending much love from Brooklyn.

Guady G

 

 

Lost


Lost
In a maze

No focus
No direction

No sight
Only fright

Who are you to beseech all of me?

You are zero!
Not the one!
You’re not the hero!
You’re not the sun!

I will walk out of the shadows!
I am alive! I am me!

Guady G

To Know Or No?

I’m curious. I want to know what you thought about when you first woke up this morn. Also did you let out a sigh? Did you yawn? I want to know so comment below.

Don’t be shy. Give it a try.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G

I will start by stating I woke up thinking about you and all your grandeur. Your turn. I double dog dare you.