Letter to my Aunt In Heaven

Dear Aunt aka Tia Toya

Today is your birthday just one day before mine. I wish I could call you on the landline. You departed this life to live up above. But a day doesn’t pass without me feeling your love.

You were my Tia and also my friend. You thought I was silly and sometimes a bit insane. But it didn’t matter cause you loved me just the same.

You were at times quiet but always thinking. You were selfless in loving despite the tears you were blinking.

You sometimes scolded others but for their own good. In certain aspects you were misunderstood.

You were my mother’s sister and confidant. At the parties you were the most radiant.

I really miss calling you today. But I heard your voice when I put my hands together to pray.

Happy birthday Tia. I Love you.

Your niece Guadalupe Macias

U

Words
My words your words
Just letters add punctuation

So many emails in my inbox
Yet you were rendered speechless
You had no words to say

The alphabet is not quite the same
You are the one to blame
So many words so much to say
Yet you said nothing and ran away!

Now letters remain but no u.
No exclamation
No declaration

Just lonely letters
And your hesitation

Guady G
Sending hugs from Brooklyn to wherever you are. Remember there is no letter U in self love.

Pondering


I feel between us a great divide
It’s like you ran to hide

I just want to give you all my love
But it seems you think it’s stupid stuff

Is what I offer you not enough?
Do you prefer that diamond and her rough?

I chose you, yes you above all else
But I won’t live in shadows of her hells.

Are you caught under her spell?
Please shed some light if I’m not right
Cause to be honest I just can’t tell.

Love Guady G

Sending hugs from Brooklyn.

Ahh to be free. . .

Who am I if I can’t please you?
Who am I if I feel no pleasure?
I’ve become numb, quite dumb to have forgoten that you were rotten! I’m a treasure not here at your disposal! Not here for just your pleasure! I chose to feel and to turn the wheel cause I’m going far! Far away from you! No more turning back for you to direct me. I chose to be free! I know I’ll be okay, cause I’ve got me!!

Story inspired by a brave individual!

Have a great weekend. Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G

Mind Gone

woman s index finger on her lips
Photo by Mochammad Algi on Pexels.com

I lay here numb staring at the ceiling thinking about this f-upped year! I don’t know if I’m happy or sad or anything anymore! I want someone to blame for the sh….t but what would that make me?  A lame victim?   A powerless mofo who can’t even flip a switch on?  Yes. I had a choice. Yes. I could have taken the stairs instead of the elevators. But I was lazy! So lazy I told you to do it and it cost you your life. But you aren’t gone cause you are still very much here. You are in my head and so very much in my field of vision. I hate you every time I look in the mirror!  You said some hurtful things to me! You used people I loved. Them and yourself, yourself, yourself!  Nobody knows all about you cause you are dark and wretched. You are someone I desire so much because I can’t attain you!  Who are you but the ideas that were outlined for you since you were born?  You wanted to run and they told you to walk.  You wanted to laugh and they said be quiet!  Shhh!  So many shhhhhhhhs! Now you don’t even know which thoughts are yours or theirs!  Have you gone insane? Have I?  Is this all part of a good read?  Fantasy?  Who decides? Real? Fake? I’ll never tell.

Well, it’s now the end of the year.  Is it time to dwell on all the crap of 2019?  Time to fantasize about 2020?   It’s your choice!  It is plenty.  Tell all those voices in your head to shut the hell up and yes it’s all you. Breathe, Relax and just take one day at a time! Stop ranting! No more chit chatter.  The crappy past is over and it doesn’t matter.  You are powerful and always have a choice. Making no choice is also a choice. I wish you all Happy writing and Happy New Year.

Let’s see what great things like ahead for all of us. I love you all. I send you hugs from Brooklyn.  You are powerful and you will always matter. Loved ones are never truly gone for they watch over us. 2020 is a new beginning. Don’t make it your end. You have the power and the strength to climb all those stairs. You don’t need crutches or elevators. You can do it. Just believe and trust in yourself and in the universe.

With Love
Guady G

Shattered but not Discarded!

As a child I was carefree.
As a teen I was wild but still me.

In my twenties I lost my way.
It’s the truth. I have no words to say!

Then my thirties came and went.
What a waste of breathing.! A life badly spent!

I was broken and quite shattered.
I didn’t give a shit cause nothing mattered.

Who would love a shadow of who I once was?
Who would be okay with my ugly past?

Then came you into my life.
You said you saw me as your wife.

You saw past my bruises and my old needle marks.
You just loved me with all of your heart.

With you I didn’t feel shattered anymore!
Your love caressed me at my core.

You didn’t pimp me like others before.
You saw in me what I no longer saw.

I was beautiful and I was whole!
No longer broken despite the falls.

Your love came and set me free.
Thank you, thank you for loving me.

Story inspired by a patient’s story. Have a grand day.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G