When Matthew went to the bar during that spring break he had taken some Viagra and a mixture of other drugs. He was on a high and spotted Cindy sitting by the bar. He had always liked her from Biology class. She was funny, corky and the way she flipped her hair around when she asked questions in class always turned him on a bit more everyday.
Cindy had hair that was chestnut-brown with a few streaks of blonde. He loved her wavy hair. When she walked into the classroom it was as if she were gliding. So many mornings he wished she would just glide on over to sit next to him but she never did. He had developed such a crush on her. He had spoken with her before but it was always related to the class. He would tell her jokes about the professor Mr. Weiner. It was easy to poke fun about his name alone. He recalled her laughter and now it made him cry.
His guilt kept consuming him daily. He felt horrible and thought perhaps he should just report himself. He never did because he aspired to do great things with his life. He couldn’t do them behind bars. He needed to finish school. He had to repress those memories even further down. It was becoming more difficult though and he felt he had no choice. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror anymore.
He would find solace in his sleep. A little bit of lorazepam would help with that. He was grateful he had been able to take some from his grandmother’s medicine cabinet.
To be continued. . . .
G.
Fluidity 