If I could speak with you up in heaven. . . .

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Hoy caen lagrimas en mi almohada al pensar en mi tía adorada.
Siempre supo darme tanto de su amor y ahora extraño su calor.
Tía bella y hermosa la quiero tanto.  Tia bendiciones.

Feliz Cumpleaños tia querida

I woke up at 4:33 am crying because I heard her voice in the night.  I wish I could just pick up the phone and talk to her sometimes. She was such a corky individual with a dry sense of humor. I would talk with her about dates I had gone on and she would laugh and tell me don’t do fusilico too soon. She meant sex.  Right now I smile thinking of her.  I cry because come tomorrow she won’t be calling to wish me a happy birthday.  I now wish I had taken more pictures with her. I wish I had visited her more often when she was in Florida. I wish I had hugged her more. I wish I could hug her right now. Perhaps if I lie very still in the night she will speak to me once more.

Today my aunt would have been 85 years old but she died on July 27, 2017. She had scleroderma which is a slowly debilitating disease.  Thinking back I remember her taking so long to finish eating. I always thought she was just super slow. Today being a doctor I know it was the dysphagia part of her illness. Back then she didn’t even know herself. Reading about a disease is one thing but knowing someone who has it and watching them slowly debilitate is another thing. Do you ever wish you could speak with someone that has moved on? What would you say? If you heard their voice in the night, would you listen or be scared?

G.

Free

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’m no longer hiding
I’m going to be me
Your acceptance doesn’t matter
Cause now I’m free
Closed door no more
Loving me at my core
Free

Good day my beautiful people.  Always be who you are meant be!  Work where you feel most happy.  Date those that make you shine.  Keep company of those that lift you up.  It’s time to let all negativity go. But first look in the mirror and learn to love yourself.  It always starts with you.  Do you agree or disagree? 

Namaste
Guady G.

Was that you?

It’s 3:38 am and from my slumber I awake.  I could feel a cold sensation gently touching  me to wake. Was it you?  Are you close?  Tell me deceased lover, what did you say? I couldn’t hear! Come near.  Whisper once more!  I’m not afraid!

Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G.

Are we truly alone? Do our loved ones visit us from the yonder? Did you ever stop to listen? I want to know.

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

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Be not afraid of the night.  If you hear strange sounds do not take fright.  That sound just means that I’m around.

I passed on when you were barely three. I tried to beat cancer desperately. My body left but my spirit did stay.  I never wanted it to go away.

I am that silence in between everyone’s talk.  I am that shadow by your side as you walk.  I am that soft sound in your ear.  If you listen closely you can hear.

I know life may not seem fair.  I know it seems that no one cares.  I never left you so don’t feel all alone.  I am right here beside you and needed you to know.

I pray for the night when you’ll be able to see me but for now be not afraid. Remember I love you and I’m so proud of the life you have made.—————————————————————————————————————
Do you believe in the beyond?  Is there such a thing as spirits dwelling among us?  Guiding us?  Is that sound just them trying to communicate with us?  Are imaginary friends perhaps our passed on relatives keeping our children company?  Things to ponder about.

Namaste
Guady G

A Teenager

 

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Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

Dear Parents
Who am I? I am a teenager and even if I don’t say much it doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say.  Just because you see me detached from everything with my headphones on or my video control in hand it doesn’t mean I don’t crave to connect. I still need you to ask me how I am. Why don’t you ever ask?

Every time we fight you call me a rebel, a defiant person, a liar and a rude human being. You shout I shouldn’t have been born. You never stop to ask me why I am this way. Don’t you care about what happened to me!  Even when I do tell you, you shrug your shoulders and call me silly, a baby and you say “Just grow up already!” Did you ever stop to think that what I told you was trivial to you but broke my heart. It crushed my soul and my confidence! You never listen and I’m with the headphones on!

You push me away when I need you to just hug me. I long to be comforted not only one day but everyday. When I say leave me alone, I mean please stay and tell me you still love me. Being a teenager is tough! My body is going through changes and come 18 will I go to college. Where? I want to do one thing but everyone says do the other. Do I live out your dream to make you happy or my own and risk losing you? I want to pull out my hair because you don’t get me and it seems you really don’t care. Do you wish I disappear?

Signed
A Teenager

Dear Parents
I’m too much! Too loud or too quiet! I’m lazy but don’t stay still. I am trying to get your attention. Why can’t you see that? I guess because I’m defiant and rude. You want me to stop and leave you alone so I’m leaving.  Bye.

Signed
A Teenager

Dear parents
I found other things to do and I’m sorry if they are wrong. I used drugs to help me forget. I prostituted myself because I craved being loved. I don’t want that life for me anymore! Please come get me. I’m in prison. Come get me and hug me. Please! I need you to really love me. I crave for you to tell me that I’m still your great child even if I’m lazy, loud, too quiet, defiant and rude. Why? Because I am your teenager.

Signed
Your Teenager

Note to all parents: Love your teen and take an interest in what they are doing. Listen to their stories. Hug them. Don’t assume they don’t need you. Don’t give up on them! Countless youth are lost. Some are killed, others imprisoned and some sadly commit suicide. Don’t let that happen to your teenager too. Act now! Don’t wait.  

Michael Saremba was a young 14 yr old I met while working in a teen center in Ithaca. He had aspirations but sadly he did not feel loved or wanted in his own home. At 3 am instead of sleeping in his own bed he was out with the wrong crowd and was killed. This blog was inspired by his memory. May he rest in peace.

Namaste
G