Note to my past life lover

You can walk out of my life but you can’t walk out of my memories for they are embedded in my genetic makeup.

I know it’s you but you have no memory or else you would not have walked away.

Perhaps in the next lifetime you will remember who I truly am—-yours.


A Teenager


hallway with window
Photo by Jimmy Chan on

Dear Parents
Who am I? I am a teenager and even if I don’t say much it doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say.  Just because you see me detached from everything with my headphones on or my video control in hand it doesn’t mean I don’t crave to connect. I still need you to ask me how I am. Why don’t you ever ask?

Every time we fight you call me a rebel, a defiant person, a liar and a rude human being. You shout I shouldn’t have been born. You never stop to ask me why I am this way. Don’t you care about what happened to me!  Even when I do tell you, you shrug your shoulders and call me silly, a baby and you say “Just grow up already!” Did you ever stop to think that what I told you was trivial to you but broke my heart. It crushed my soul and my confidence! You never listen and I’m with the headphones on!

You push me away when I need you to just hug me. I long to be comforted not only one day but everyday. When I say leave me alone, I mean please stay and tell me you still love me. Being a teenager is tough! My body is going through changes and come 18 will I go to college. Where? I want to do one thing but everyone says do the other. Do I live out your dream to make you happy or my own and risk losing you? I want to pull out my hair because you don’t get me and it seems you really don’t care. Do you wish I disappear?

A Teenager

Dear Parents
I’m too much! Too loud or too quiet! I’m lazy but don’t stay still. I am trying to get your attention. Why can’t you see that? I guess because I’m defiant and rude. You want me to stop and leave you alone so I’m leaving.  Bye.

A Teenager

Dear parents
I found other things to do and I’m sorry if they are wrong. I used drugs to help me forget. I prostituted myself because I craved being loved. I don’t want that life for me anymore! Please come get me. I’m in prison. Come get me and hug me. Please! I need you to really love me. I crave for you to tell me that I’m still your great child even if I’m lazy, loud, too quiet, defiant and rude. Why? Because I am your teenager.

Your Teenager

Note to all parents: Love your teen and take an interest in what they are doing. Listen to their stories. Hug them. Don’t assume they don’t need you. Don’t give up on them! Countless youth are lost. Some are killed, others imprisoned and some sadly commit suicide. Don’t let that happen to your teenager too. Act now! Don’t wait.  

Michael Saremba was a young 14 yr old I met while working in a teen center in Ithaca. He had aspirations but sadly he did not feel loved or wanted in his own home. At 3 am instead of sleeping in his own bed he was out with the wrong crowd and was killed. This blog was inspired by his memory. May he rest in peace.


What wakes you at 3 in the morn?

Dear H.G. Wells

I regret to inform you that the above was a bit, well, wrong. I admit I have never read it. I must inform you that the political weather we are currently withstanding is actually quite in opposition to your foreseen, me thinks. The major current isn’t bringing us to unison but taking us more towards the Bermuda Triangle. Our hopes and dreams vanishing while severing ties to our next of kin. The Northern star of our forefathers has moved further from our grasp. What is left to accompany us is mere chaos and despair! Isn’t it time to stop and pray?  I know it is the answer to this inevitable Medusa we are facing or shall I state the ramifications of the Pandora’s Box we are encased in?

My dear H.G. Wells perhaps your last book was a prayer. Siri, Alexa and the likes of C-3PO and R2-D2 shall be the rescue?  What about our children? Whitney Houston coined it well.

George Lucas is a visionary in my opinion as are you my dear H.G. Wells.  Shall I call you Herbert?  I pose a question now.  Darth Vader is a good man in the end, right?  I have yet to watch those movies as well. My apologies to Mr. Lucas.

Now I see.

Things I leave you to ponder about? Any coincidence both are named George?  Why was I awakened at 3 am to document this?  Is it that Herbert George Wells was a diabetic and I a doctor?  Why does his last book enter my mind and I’ve never read it?  Questions and more questions? But stop and do think. This is our future and our legacy. What will become of it?

I’ll leave you now with the epitaph that H.G. Wells stated he liked for himself — I told you so, you damned fools.  My thanks to Mr. H.G. Wells and to Mr. George Lucas.

Guady G. with thoughts on history.

Crazy writing at 3 am? Perhaps. I dig deeper into my own written word. Will you? Comment below.  I want to know!