And they call me Charmin. . .

Dear Consumer

Please stop complaining about your job! Trust me, mine is worse. Sure the boss may ask you to say late or come in earlier but my job is 24 hrs.

Sure you wish you had another job. You are lucky because you can quit. I can’t for I was created for just one purpose in mind. Frankly, I think it stinks like shh it! Phew!!

Come on I sport nice white clothes to work only to be covered in stool, urine and sometimes blood. If that’s not enough sometimes I have to work as a tissue and get covered in snots. I bet your job ain’t so bad now.

I’ve had it with my employment and sometimes I just won’t budge. When you try to take a piece of me, you can’t grab me. You pick and pick and get only shreds of me. That is my sweet revenge! I am laughing as you get annoyed. Ha! Ha! Ha!

I don’t like being taken for granted. I’m always being used. My white clothes gets all gross and then I’m thrown away. You don’t even think about me. It’s so routine for you. Sure when I’m not in the room you freak out. I’m needed but only appreciated when I’m gone. Why don’t you say thank you when I am present?

So stop complaining about your job. I have the most shitty job. I still can’t believe that some people call me Charmin. There ain’t nothing charming about my job.

Sincerely
Wiper of assests

Dear readers

Thank you for taking an interest in my blog. In my opinion everything that takes up space in the universe is made of matter. All matter gives off energy. Do inanimate objects have emotions too? Lets just play it safe. Lets appreciate each other and give thanks for everything we have in our lives. Yes that includes toilet paper.

Sincerely
Guady G

Um, um,_________la, la,la


Dear Consumer

I look pretty in designs and in basic black. With me in your hands I’ll always have your back.

I can lay quietly in your closet or in your locker. I hang well on a hook it’s no shocker.

I protect you from the sun and the rain even if you say carrying me around is a pain. You keep forgetting me on the damn train! Now, where’s your brain?

I can protect you from snow, sleet and hail. Sorry but after sometime I do become frail.

When I’m overused and all tattered
you discard me as if my life didn’t matter.

The next time you hold one of us remember what you just read. Say thank you or get wet instead.

Signed
Humberto the Umbrella

We must never forget our worth. We are valuable even if others don’t see us that way. May you have a beautiful day. I send you hugs from Brooklyn.

Love
Guady G

Bang Crack Pow

I was created to kill on the battlefield. Today I don’t like the way I feel. Sometimes I wish I had never been created. With all these killings I just hate it.

When I’m seen I know I instill fear. But I don’t like taking lives that others hold dear. What the heck is going on? If I had legs I would run. Innocents dying, shooters lying.

I want to implode. Hate when schools explode. Why was I created? Innocent people are dying, nations crying and I just hate myself. Please please please if you own me keep me hidden high on a shelf. Don’t want to be in little hands for I’m not a toy. I’m a weapon to deploy.

So as you can see my life isn’t fun. Oh, how I hate being a gun. I end lives when I’m fired. I can’t wait to be retired.

The word gun was suggested by a wonderful man named Christopher P.

Thank you for reading.
Sincerely Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

Anyone else have a word for me? Bring it.

Encase Me Not!

You dismissed me. You said you were done with me. You said I had reached my limit.

You used me and now you just leave looking all proud sporting that leather and strap. I still serve a purpose you know.

When you go about your day and forget something don’t run back to search me over! I’m done being your daily planner, you stupid brown briefcase!
_____________________________________________
Good morning my fellow bloggers and readers something I love doing is giving life to inanimate objects. I wasn’t sure what to write about so I asked my daughter for an object. She said briefcase. I realized that everything that occupies space has relationship to us and other objects. Everything serves a purpose even if we don’t understand it. So if there are relationships then surely there must be emotions too. You know I really love writing. Don’t you? Do you have an object for me? I want to challenge myself this week and I will give you credit for the object. Have a great Sunday.

With Love
Guady G

To Know Or No?

I’m curious. I want to know what you thought about when you first woke up this morn. Also did you let out a sigh? Did you yawn? I want to know so comment below.

Don’t be shy. Give it a try.

Hugs from Brooklyn
Guady G

I will start by stating I woke up thinking about you and all your grandeur. Your turn. I double dog dare you.

Captain or Capsize

I was lost adrift on a squall to a destination without much certainty. But now with love as my sail I can withstand anything. I am no longer afraid to navigate these waters. I will not be idle. I will take command of the helm and I will sail until I’m home.

With much love
Guady G