Tag: funny

You’re a Cinnamon!

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Dear Mr. Spice

Sorry if Rosemary Leaves you but I had to tell her that I saw you and Ginger driving your Caraway. She was good to you. She doesn’t deserve all this Saffron. So don’t bother getting on your Anise and apologizing. Your actions were not very Sage or Savory. It’s no wonder your first name is Jerk. In Thyme she would have found out anyway. She was already suspicious.

Sincerely
Jasmine Flowers

Ps. I am not Salty. I just strongly feel that men should be left at Bay if they don’t have Lovage for their wives.

Love you guys! Hugs from Brooklyn. Guady G

What happened to Amelia?

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I find the English language quite interesting. Homonyms, homophones and homographs can be confusing indeed. No one was better than Peggy Parish at making us laugh with her books.

My favorite book was the book titled Amelia Bedelia. Amelia really screwed things up but she was never fired because the Rogers just loved her pies and cooking. My favorites were dress the chicken, draw the drapes and put out the lights.

What was your favorite Amelia Bedelia book? Amelia Bedelia books were very popular. After Peggy Parish died in 1988 her nephew Herman Parish took over in 1995. Some books are about Amelia as a young girl. I liked Amelia better as the goofy older maid. You?

Last book was written in 2017. So what happened to Amelia Bedelia? Her dating life would be hysterical in my opinion. Of course it would be an adult book. Can you imagine her boyfriend telling her “Oh, Amelia you get me so upset, just kiss my a_ _.

With love Guady G
Hugs from Brooklyn

If Utensil could speak. . . . .

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Dear Cutler

I hope you are keeping safe from those that cut like blades. I am writing to request a favor. I feel so alone in these drawers.

I would love some company. Wondering if you can help. I wanna fork so badly right now. I crave the spoons as well. I hear the table and the tea have also been complaining.

I admit I’m so knife to think it could be that simple but I don’t know who else to ask.

Sincerely
The lonely boning knife.

Tossed- Not just salad

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Lettuce start with how happy I am that you tossed me. I am now with a very cherry tomato basking in the company of the spiciest pepper in the world. I’m with a very juicy cucumber too!

So keep your rutabaga self and those bitter onions out of the salad bowl. No use for your cheap oils here either. I now have Top Classic Italian baby. I’m worth more than all the carrots combined.

PS you can now garlic yourself!

Sincerely
The sweet pea of the salad

It’s so darn hot

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It’s so darn hot that my sweat is sweating!!!

Love Guady